Horesman: That one is a woman. (He points at SAM.)
Jack: Observant bunch.
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All quotes are taken from the transcripts located at The Stargate Database. No copyright infringement was intended.

Children of the Gods, Part 1

Hammond: You ever think about writing a book about your exploits in the line of duty?
O'Neill: Thought about it. But then I'd have to shoot anyone who actually read it.

Hammond: Are you sure he's dead, Colonel?
O'Neill: Unless he can survive a tactical nuclear warhead blowing up in his face, positive. Why?

Hammond: You didn't like Daniel Jackson, did you?
O'Neill: Daniel was a scientist. He sneezed a lot. Basically, he was a geek, sir.
Samuels: So you didn't have a lot of time for him.
O'Neill: I didn't say that. He also saved my life and found a way home for my men and me. A little thing like that kind of makes a person grow on you, you know what I mean?

Kawalsky: That one kid idolized you. Remember him? Weird name. What was it?
O'Neill: Skaara.
Kawalsky: Right. Remember how he was always saluting you?
O'Neill: Yeah. My kid used to do that when he was little. Skaara kind of reminded me of him. Kawalsky: Oh, man, Colonel. You and me went through that whole mission together. I never even knew you had a son.
O'Neill: (after a long pause) Well, he died. Just before the Abydos mission.
Kawalsky: I'm sorry, sir. I had no idea.

Hammond: Care to explain this concept?
O'Neill: Jackson has allergies.
Kawalsky: (grinning) I get it.
O'Neill: He'll know this came from me and not from someone... (glancing at Hammond) with all due respect, sir, like yourself.

O'Neill: (coming back into the control room) Now we wait. If Daniel's still around, he'll know what the message means.
Samuels: What if the aliens get it?
O'Neill: Well... they could be blowing their noses right now.
Samuels: They could be planning an attack.
O'Neill: Oh, come on, Samuels. Let me be the cynic around here, okay?

Carter: That's a result of the compression your molecules undergo during the millisecond required for reconstitution.
O'Neill: Oh, here we go, another scientist. General... please.
Carter: Theoretical astrophysicist.
O'Neill: Which means...?

O'Neill: (sitting down) Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. I've just got a little problem with scientists.

O'Neill: Captain?
Carter: Don't worry, Colonel. I won't let you down.
O'Neill: Good. I was gonna say "Ladies first."

Carter: You know, you really will like me when you get to know me.
O'Neill: Oh, I adore you already, Captain.

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